An Uninvited House Guest

There is a bigfoot living in my crawlspace.

You think I am crazy. Let us entertain for just a moment that you are correct. That does not change the fact that I believe that sasquatch lives under my house.

I am, however, not crazy. He exists. He is down there. I hear him breathing and shuffling under the floor. When I move from the hallway to the living room; from the living room to the kitchen, he is down there shadowing my movements. I went outside last night to take out the trash, when I turned around to head back to the house, I could see his glowing, red eyes staring at me through the ventilation holes in the base blocks. He was watching me. I am sure that he is waiting for the perfect opportunity to eat me. I will be ready. In the meantime, I have left another offering of baked beans at the entrance to the crawlspace in hope that he delays the inevitable for a while longer. I hope he returns the tupperware this time, I don’t have many left.